I'm Scared of Crying in a Counselling Session
Therapy doesn't make everyone cry. But if you do, that's okay too.
Many people worry that once they start talking, they won't be able to stop. Others feel embarrassed by the thought of crying in front of someone they don't know. You might even be putting off counselling altogether because you're afraid of what could happen if your emotions come to the surface.
Those worries are completely understandable.
Crying isn't something you have to do in therapy and it's certainly not a sign that you're doing it "properly". Some people cry in their first session. Others never cry at all. Some laugh, some sit quietly for a while and some find it difficult to show any emotion. Every response is valid.
Often, tears are simply a sign that something important has been held inside for a long time. Many people spend years trying to stay strong for everyone else, pushing difficult feelings to one side just to get through everyday life. Having a space where you no longer have to hold everything together can feel unfamiliar at first.
If you do become upset, there won't be any expectation for you to carry on talking. We can slow down, sit quietly for a moment or simply allow whatever you're feeling to be there. There isn't any pressure to explain your tears or apologise for them.
I sometimes call tears "leaky feelings." It's a phrase my clients often smile at because it takes away some of the pressure. Tears aren't something to apologise for or hold back. They don't mean you're falling apart. Sometimes they're simply your feelings finding a way to be heard when words are difficult to find.
Counselling isn't about making you cry. It's about creating a space where you can be yourself, whatever that looks like on the day. Some sessions may feel emotional. Others may leave you feeling lighter, clearer or even laughing. There isn't a right way to experience therapy.
At Pebbleshed Therapy, I offer online person-centred counselling for adults across the UK in a warm, accepting and non-judgemental space where every emotion is welcome. If you're wondering whether counselling might be right for you, you're welcome to book a free 20-minute initial consultation. It's a relaxed opportunity to ask questions, find out how I work and see whether we'd like to work together, with no obligation to book further sessions.
