I Keep Putting Everyone Else First. What About Me?
If you're always the person other people rely on, you might have become so used to putting yourself last that you hardly notice you're doing it.
Perhaps you're caring for family, supporting a partner, helping your children, looking after ageing parents or being the dependable friend or colleague everyone turns to. You want to be there for the people you love but somewhere along the way, your own needs have quietly slipped to the bottom of the list.
You may even feel guilty when you think about changing that.
Many people tell me they don't know what they enjoy anymore because they've spent so long focusing on everyone else. Others say they wouldn't know what they needed even if someone asked. Looking after other people has become second nature, while looking after themselves feels unfamiliar or even selfish.
It isn't selfish.
The truth is, constantly putting your own thoughts and feelings to one side can be exhausting. Over time, you may begin to feel overwhelmed, resentful, disconnected from yourself or simply worn out without fully understanding why.
Person-centred counselling gives you something that can be difficult to find in everyday life – a space that's entirely yours.
For fifty minutes, you don't have to solve anyone else's problems or think about what everyone else needs from you. You can simply be heard. Sometimes that's the first time people have experienced that in years.
Counselling isn't about encouraging you to stop caring about the people in your life. It's about helping you include yourself in that care too. As you begin to understand your own thoughts, feelings and needs more clearly, you may find it becomes easier to make decisions that feel right for you as well as the people around you.
You matter too.
At Pebbleshed Therapy, I offer online person-centred counselling for adults across the UK. If you've spent so long looking after everyone else that you've forgotten to look after yourself, you're welcome to book a free 20-minute initial consultation. It's a relaxed opportunity to ask questions, find out how I work and see whether we'd like to work together, with no obligation to book further sessions.
